Moment-to-Moment Optimism

By Dr. Russ,

In this Dr. Russ Buss Week in Review, I share some of my moment-to-moment struggles to maintain my "Optimistic Stamina" frustrated by the gloom and doom of this shortened, nay lengthened, month of February.

The first week of February is over, with 3 more to go.  Despite my own advice to find ways to get through this month with a positive view intact, I am already struggling; fighting off a daily sense of February pessimism – how will I get through this month?

I do have to remind myself that, for me, getting through this first week is usually tougher than I think it should be because it is the anniversary of my father’s death.  After 11 years, the sub-conscious and subjective grief experience still affects my moment-to-moment emotional state.

I said FOCUS on fun, festivals, and football.  Today is the Super Bowl. Am I to believe that memories of the game and the array of “Super Bowl” ads are really going to sustain me until Valentines Day?  I’m not going to be doing anything special on Valentine’s anyway. Mardi Gras might be next, but I am not going to be in New Orleans.  FOCUS isn’t working for me, right now.

Inspirational quotes are wonderful, and I hope you are feeling more inspired by these than I am right at the moment.  “Failure” is not on my mind, but the daily struggle to keep making progress seems like I am walking through a mud bog.

Humph! Mud bog.  The family was sailing the backwaters of the Jersey Shore town, Stone Harbor, there were little inlets, lots of shallow water, and no wind.  We ran aground.

• “Rusty” (my childhood nickname to differentiate me from my Dad for whom I was named) "why don’t you get out and tow the boat?" I stepped into “high ankle” high mud, threw a rope over my shoulder, and began pulling the boat though the shallows; took about an hour before we got back to sailable water.  Not much fun, but we had some laughs and did get home that night.  Is the frustration of maintaining February “optimism” really more challenging than that the “mud bog?”

A high point of the week was sharing my TIP of the WEEK; my struggles with “failure” and attempts to deal with it during the college years.  “Failure;” now there is another word that ought to be eliminated from the dictionary of “optimism.”  I had fun creating the “Wizard of Pessimism” character.  He/she will be back.

If I knew that a couple out there rally read, studied, practiced and used one or more of the “Seven Positive Communication Skills of Highly Effective Couples,” I would have a very “high” moment of “optimism” erasing much of the February pessimism.

I suppose I could keep watching the Down’s Syndrome Grocery Store bagger video over and over, feel teary eyed, and then think that the mission to spread optimism is “worthwhile;” a nice, but temporary feeling. 

I’m beginning to feel a little like our “Struggling Optimist” who took the week off; maybe subconsciously I am trying to reflect the message that maintaining optimism requires “optimistic stamina;” constant work and practice to keep-up and develop the “skill.”




By Dr. Russ

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day, the day I offer tips to “Busst-Up” any pessimism facing you this week.  In today’s Bussters I address the PESSIMISM of the WHOLE MONTH OF FEBRUARY.

The “Irony of February:” The month has the fewest days of any, but psychologically seems like the longest month of the year. February is associated with sadness, gloom, ill health, and in the Northern Hemisphere - cold, clouds, and bad weather.  It is the month the Ground Hog often runs back into his hole signaling six more weeks of winter.  Pessimistic – You bet!! And, the “Sticky Kind” for sure.

How can we fight this February Funk?  Like anyone I am subject to getting caught-up in a doom and gloom scenario; can find myself “stuck” looking for some OPTIMISM.  In these situations, I often turn to a little brainstorming technique to help me shed the FUNK.  I take a word directly or indirectly associated with the issue or problem and free associate words and phrases to each letter of the word.  Let’s try the word February.  Here is what I came with:

Eight Dr. Russ Bussters to Busst-Up the February Funkies

F- FOCUS on the available fun and festivals of February including Valentines Day, President’s Day Holiday, the Winter Olympics, college basketball, ice hockey, and even more high school basketball.

E – Learn and re-learn that to “ENDURE” is a worthwhile experience.

B – BELIEVE that Spring is just around the corner; “BLOW” the town and fly south or anywhere for a brief getaway.

R – REPLAY the movie Ground Hog Day over and over, and reflect on the many opportunities you have for “do-overs.”  In this 1993 movie starring Bill Murray in the role of TV weatherman Phil Conners, Conner’s kept reliving February 2 over and over until he finally got life “right.” After multiple “do-overs” he discovered that life was not about trying to fulfill his own needs, but rather about a  quest for continual self-improvement devoted to attending to the needs of others. 

U – UNDERSTAND that this, month of February, too shall pass.   Post up the phrase: “February too shall pass.”  Remember that the ULTIMATE joy of life is personal growth and self-improvement.

A – ACCEPT the “irony” that February is the “psychologically longest” month of the year.  Now, what choices do you have?  Use this analogy.  What advice do you give a family of about to embark on a long distance driving family vacation?  You tell them to take lots of things along to keep everybody busy such as books, games, videos, and other electronic devices.  So – Now what are your choices?

R – RETREAT to your hole and curl up with some good books; REMEMBER beaches aren’t the only place for "summer reading." While in your hole, REFLECT on some self-improvement goals that would benefit others as well as yourself.

Y – Put a sign next to your alarm clock that says, “YES, I CAN!”

FINAL FEBRUARY TIP:  Make your own “free associations” to each letter of the word, “February.” Now, you are truly IN CHARGE of your own “Moment-to-Moment Skilled Optimism.”

Check out the Dr. Russ, "Learning Optimism Blog," on the website: Life in Lansing.