Moment-to-Moment Optimism

By Dr. Russ

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day.  It is the day I offer up TIPS to help BUSST-UP any pessimism you might face this week.  Everyday over the last week, the nightly news broadcasts have not let us forget that the five year anniversary one of the deadliest hurricanes in the history of the United States.  The media have also aired many resurrection and rebuilding stories honed from the optimism of “The Spirit of New Orleans.”

While the hurricane Katrina traveled slightly east of New Orleans on August 29, 2005 it was the storm surge and the subsequent breakdown of the levees and dykes that caused most of the damage.  Five years later, the rebuilding process goes on and the hope of rebirth and new beginnings is now replaced with the optimism of making these dreams come true.

Last night I had the opportunity to attend a lecture by Dave Eggers, author of the national bestseller Zeitoun.  Zeitoun is the Katrina survival story of a Syrian man and his family who were then and continue to be residents of New Orleans.

While Zeitoun sent his wife and family out of state to the safety of relatives, he stayed behind to try to save the family home and business. While he was at it, he managed to rescue quite a few people and dogs that otherwise would have perished.

Zeitoun’s survival story, however, was not just about canoeing through the flooded streets doing good deeds. It is also about surviving the fear and pessimism that gripped the city and national news with ever more sensational stories: how the City of New Orleans had fallen into social chaos and was now at the mercy of rampant lawlessness - thieves, rapists, and murderers.

According to Eggers, the rumor, innuendo and vastly overblown negative stories led the authorities to believe that the New Orleans Convention Center contained over four hundred dead bodies.  At the time for evacuation of the Convention Center, 400 body bags were brought to the entrance.  Instead authorities found six corpses and one man who had shot himself in the foot with his own gun.

At the height of this mayhem mindset, Zeitoun and three of his friends were arrested in a house he owned and then taken to makeshift prisons; never receiving any normal due process rights.  Turns out, Zeitoun was a “skilled optimist” and with the help of his very assertive and driven wife, and a missionary who listened, Zeitoun was released after surviving three weeks in this Kafka-esque nightmare.

Dr. Russ Bussters from Eggers' Story of Zeitoun

1. There are two kinds of fear: REAL and MADE-UP.  Made-up fear is much worse; lets the imagination run rampant with pessimism, and leads to greater anxiety and beliefs about hopelessness and helplessness.
2. Real fear is almost always directly proportional to the inherent danger and usually leads us to take appropriate and rational action to overcome the impending peril.  On his first day canoeing the streets of his New Orleans neighborhood, Zeitoun heard a woman crying for help.   Upon further exploration, he found her in the second story of her home, head just above water up against the ceiling.  At 80 years old and weighing 200 pounds, he knew he couldn’t save her in his canoe.  After a brief search he found two men in a fishing boat willing to help. 
3. Made-up fear is almost always out of proportion to the reality of the danger; usually resulting in catastrophic thinking and an overestimation of alarm by two or ten times more than the reality.  Zeitoun, stranded in New Orleans without electricity or access to radio to TV news, had no idea how vastly exaggerated the fears of social breakdown had become.  All he could see was people trying to survive and help others.
4. After Zeitoun had saved the woman above along with five others that first day of canoeing, he felt empowered, that his life had some real purpose.  He stayed in the city to continue to help.  Zeitoun’s experience teaches us once again that optimism is enhanced in any given moment when we find a moment or two in a day to help another.
5. If we take time to listen, we learn.  A major theme of Dave Eggers lecture last evening was about how important it was for him to just listen to Zeitoun, Kathy his wife, and other players that had a role in the unfolding Katrina events as they told their story, their way without a lot of questioning, direction and redirection.

{Michigan State University and East Lansing, Michigan are featuring Dave Eggers, Zeitoun, in its “One Book, One Community” annual program that encourages, “the city-university community to come together and discuss” the book in a variety of settings over the course of the next month.  For more about the scheduled events click on: Zeitoun.}



By Dr. Russ

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day, the day I offer up TIPS to BUSST-UP any pessimism facing you this week.  One of the Dr. Russ Buss core principles of optimism is:  Optimists seek and search for information daily for information and stories to help maintain an optimistic outlook.

One of our readers came up with this idea to find inspiration for daily optimism.  Google the date--sans the year--for any given day.  It could be today or several days in the future.  For today, you would Google “August 23.”  The search will lead you to all kinds of historical events, birth dates of famous people, and special celebrations occurring on that day.  Scan through the listings and identify 1 to 5 inspirational ideas, events, people or thoughts to fire up your day and perhaps the entire week.  Even better, write the key idea on a 3 x 5 card or “post-it-note” and display on your desk, refrigerator, or bathroom mirror.

I used this approach today.  Here are my five Dr. Russ Bussters for the week:  

Busster One: 130 days left before the end of the year. Such a realization could lead to either optimism or pessimism.  Pessimism: “Oh, my gosh, I will never accomplish all my annual goals in the time available.”  Optimism: “Now I have some needed focus.  Time to asses my goal accomplishments so far this year and then re-prioritize and reframe remaining goals.  Cull out the least important, and focus on what I believe I can control.”

Busster Two: Today is the International Day for Remembrance of the Transatlantic Slave Trade and its Abolition.  I didn’t know this until I found it in my search.  The celebration of this day reminds me that no matter how slow and no matter how many setbacks there are, have been, and continue to be, we humans are making progress in our approach to caring about “humanity.” 

Busster Three: On this day in 1966, the Lunar Orbiter 1 took the first photograph of the Earth from a lunar perspective.  Pictures of earth floating in space have become so commonplace that I had forgotten how really recently we even had such an image.  Thinking about or looking at such a picture inspires my optimism as I think about the incredible and awesome nature of the Universe--all we know and don’t know about it.    

Busster Four: Start of College and Professional Football Season.  Whatever your passion for sport, each has its own season.  Baseball, America’s pastime of yesteryear, has given way to American Football.  As opening day of any sport season approaches we can get excited about it if that is our sport of passion.  Currently, Americans seem to have a passion about football.  For those with even a mild to moderate passion for football, watching the game at home or live on Saturday and Sunday each fall weekend gives us something to look forward to during the week and to talk about the following week.  Now we get games on Thursday, Sunday and Monday nights as well.  Football also brings with it more social planning and activities that other sports as we plan for tailgates and visits from out of town guests that make it a whole day or even weekend of fun and frivolity.

Busster Five: Actor, singer and dancer Gene Kelly was born on this date in 1912.  When looking for inspiration for optimism, I always try to find at least one famous individual from the past or present that might kick-off an optimistic thought or two.  Gene Kelly was always one of my favorite classic stars of stage and screen.  He is an idol of mine since he was a “hoofer,” and tap dance is one of my passions.  But, my most optimistic memory of Gene Kelly is his stage and movie rendition of “Singing in the Rain.”

Grand Self-Created Buster: Use this daily Google search process to create your own Dr. Russ Bussters for any given day or week.

By Dr. Russ,

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day when I offer up TIPS to BUSST-UP any pessimism standing in the way of your optimism this week.  Today I am struggling with some grief and loss issues and am trying not to let my sadness drift into a sense of hopeless and helpless pessimism.

The major goal of this blog is to teach interested readers how to become “skilled optimists” using a variety of teaching techniques.  One teaching strategy is to use everyday events as opportunities to learn and strengthen optimism skills.

Last week our family had to make one of the toughest decisions any pet owner has to make.  We made the decision that it was in the best interests of our beloved dog, Molly, a Bichon Frise, that she be put to sleep.  Even though she was fourteen years old, she had been healthy right up to the end.  Then within a matter of weeks she deteriorated rapidly due to what the vet thinks was an aggressive form of liver cancer.

It is amazing how much a dog becomes an integral part of your life and daily routine that sometimes seems like a chore with daily feedings and walking.  But, when the dog is gone you realize how many precious moments the pet brought to life each and every day.  I know cat owners who feel the same way about their pets as well.

I have had a dog in my life since the day I was born; five in all. Each dog has lived well into its teenage years forming a strong bond with each family member; a best friend that craved our attention and companionship and we his or hers.  Unique lessons of optimism were learned from my experiences with these dogs.

There are 81, 721,000 dog and cat owners in the USA.  So, maybe some of today’s ramblings will have meaning for a few.  Today, I focus on the optimism lessons learned from one of the five, saving the rest for a unique post about each at sometime in the future.

Three Dr. Russ Busster Dog Lessons of Optimism

Dog Busster One: Optimists take action to manage sad feelings.

Agnes was an English Bulldog and our second family dog.  My mother’s approach to dealing with the grief and loss of losing our first dog of 16 years, a Kerry Blue Terrier named Mac, was to bring a new puppy into the family within a few days of Mac’s passing.

Agnes was my mother’s antidote to grief and loss.  It worked for the whole family. We were all caught up in the joy and energy of a new pup.  We never forgot Mac, but the pain of her loss was erased more efficiently than any prescription pain medication could ever hope to accomplish.

My mother noted at the time that perhaps she was depriving the family of its time to grieve.  After many years studying psychology, I believe many, perhaps most, mental health professionals would probably not recommend this approach to dealing with grief and loss.  Grief and loss are normal feelings that we need to learn to live with even though it is discomforting.  It is important to learn to live with discomfort as we are then better prepared to deal with life’s inevitable tough times.

While living longer with the grief and loss might have provided a valuable lesson at the time, I came away with the distinct learning that one need not wallow in sad feelings, absorbed in a sense of hopelessness and helplessness.  One could take action to master the environment and renew one’s optimism.

Dog Busster Two:  Optimism is not about appearances.

Agnes taught us not to be concerned about appearances in more ways than one.

• She made ugly the new pretty.  Despite the English Bulldog’s large jowls, pug nose, rotund body supported by stocky legs, and a protruding lower jaw that appears menacing, bulldogs are known for their sweet disposition.  Agnes was no exception.  She loved to lick the faces of little kids who tried to run away from her; smothering their rejection with her affection. 

• Agnes had a white, short-haired coat and shed profusely.  I realized sometime later why I was never a candidate for “best dressed” in high school as my blue, brown or black pants were routinely covered with little white hairs that adhered to them for days.  Not that I really cared about any such award, but I did take pride in thinking back about how much Agnes taught me about the value of overlooking external appearances to find the optimism that shines within.

Dog Busster Three: Optimism is about fun even if it’s a bunch of nonsense.

• I remember many lazy days of childhood when my younger brother and I spent several hours on many Saturday mornings playing “tug of war” with Agnes, the bulldog’s favorite game as it locks that overlapping jaw around whatever we were tugging on.

• For purely nonsensical fun, my mother let down all inhibitions about what others might think and celebrated Agnes’s first birthday with cake, ice cream, birthday hats, and a picture of the dog sitting at the dinning room table looking as if it was about to blow out a candle on a homemade cup cake.

Perhaps you have a "Dog Story of Optimism" that you would like to share.  If so, put the story in a comment.



By Dr. Russ

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day.  Are you ready to try out some Bussters that will help you practice getting into and staying in the moment?   The most trusted allies of pessimistic thinking are worries about the past and the future.  One of the most difficult tasks even for the most skilled of optimists is staying in the “flow of the moment.”

Born to Run, by Chris McDougall, is the National Best Seller true story of super-athletes who can run for 50 to 100 miles or more without stopping.  He writes about a group of U.S athletes who have achieved this milestone and of the remote Mexican tribe--the Tarahumara--who live in the Copper Canyon region of the Sierra Madres and grow up running these distances with ease.

How do these athletes do it?  The answer to that question is multifaceted, but certainly one key component is staying in the moment without focusing on any pain or thoughts about the end of the race.

Dr. Russ Bussters for Getting into and Staying in the Moment

1.  To stay in the moment, the goal must remain intrinsic to the activity.  An extrinsic focus as the reason for running such as losing weight or trimming down the waistline takes us out of the moment and decreases endurance.  The two examples below are illustrative and instructive on this point.

• For them, (meaning the average, everyday runner) running was a miserable two miles motivated solely by size 6 jeans: get on the scale, get depressed, get your headphones on, and get it over with. (p. 69)

• There are two goddesses in your heart.   The Goddess of Wisdom and the Goddess of Wealth.  Everyone thinks they need to get wealth first and wisdom will come.  So they concern themselves with chasing money:  But they have it backwards. You have to give your heart to the goddess of wisdom, give her all your love and attention and the goddess of wealth will become jealous and follow you.  Ask nothing from your running, in other words and you’ll get more than you ever imagined. (p. 94)

2.   Try using the imagery below to help you ease into and stay in the moment whether you are running, transporting kids to a soccer game, or completing a project at work.

• You can’t muscle through a five hour run that way; you have to relax into it, like easing your body into a hot tub, until it no longer resists the shock and begins to enjoy it. (p.69)

3. One key to staying in the moment is relaxation which requires a focus on the sensations of the “here and now” as in the example below.

• Relax enough and your body becomes so familiar with the cradle rocking rhythm that you almost forget you’re moving. And once you break through to that soft half levitating flow, that’s when the moonlight and champagne show up: . . . be in tune with your body; . . . know when you can push and when to back off, listen to sound of your own breathing, be aware of how much sweat is beading on your back; make sure you treat yourself to cool water and a salty snack and ask yourself honestly and often exactly how you feel. (p. 69)

4. Relationships work better when we learn to stay in the moment; forgetting about past hurts or anticipated future injustices.  Love relationships can be modeled after the super-athletes love of running as in the following sample quote:

• On the capacity to love and the capacity to love running - Engineering is the same: both require loosening your grip on your own desires, putting aside what you want and appreciating what you got, being patient and forgiving and undemanding. (p. 98)

5.  Another strategy for staying in the moment involves intently focusing, alas meditating, on each micro-moment of the activity as shown in the hiking example below.

• . . . hiking in the Cascadia Mts.  Try the meditation of the trail, just walk along looking at the trail at your feet and don’t look about and just fall into trance as the ground zips by . . . Trails are like that: you’re floating along in a Shakespearean Arder paradise and expect to see nymphs and fluteboys, then suddenly your struggling in a hot broiling sun of hell in dust and nettles and poison oak . . . just like life. (p. 145)

6.  How about this metaphor for living “in-the-moment” and life to its fullest?

•  . . . don’t fight the trail (life?) take what it gives you . . . (p. 111)

{Reference: McDougall, C. (2009). Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen. New York: Alfred A. Knopf}

By Dr. Russ

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day.  In today’s Bussters, I return to the problem of overcoming those pessimistic moments when we feel so overwhelmed, we seriously consider “giving-up” on optimism and letting the pessimistic “beast within” rule the day, week, or life. 

I have often said that sports provide useful, workable and practical metaphors for living life optimistically in the moment.  Recently, I read Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall.  The book recounts the mind set, life experiences and accomplishments of ultramarathoners who run 50 to 100 mile races up and down mountainsides across rugged, non-paved, terrain.  In particular, it enlightens the reader about the Tarahumara Indians; a reclusive tribe living in the Copper Canyons of Mexico’s Sierra Nevada Mountains.

• “For centuries they have practiced techniques that allow them to run hundreds of miles without rest and chase down anything from a deer to an Olympic marathoner while enjoying every mile of it.” (Born to Run, Inside front cover jacket).

I was active in athletics while growing-up; lettered in three sports--soccer, basketball and baseball--in high school.  I have stayed relatively active throughout my adult life, but I have never thought of myself as a ‘runner;’ have been frequently been heard to say, “in order to run, I need a ball to chase or outrun as I try for 1^st base on an infield grounder.”

So, even the thought of running a few miles or more appears overwhelming to me.  Running a marathon is admirable, but not in my dreams.  In my mind, running a double to quadruple marathon could only be possible on some planet with less gravity pull than earth I, right?  Wrong!   I have now learned about the Tarahumara and a “cult” of US runners who call themselves “ultramarathoners.”

McDougall not only tells a compelling true story in an engaging manner, he also gives a glimpse into the mental motivation that underlies this kind of ultra-experience and accomplishment.  Today, I draw on several key quotes from the book that relate to dealing with those times where one feels completely or nearly-so overwhelmed by life’s negative experiences that lead one to wonder, “Can I keep going?”

• The 18 mile mark in a marathon is commonly referred to as the “wall” every marathoner hits and must somehow fight through to be able to finish.  On a fifty or one hundred mile marathon, there must be several such “walls” of pessimism and potentially debilitating self-doubt.

Here are some tips from the super-athletes who have attempted and overcome the marathon physical and mental difficulties of this extreme form of running.

Dr. Russ Bussters to Busst-Up those Extreme Pessimistic Moments

1. The Tarahumara play a running game that does involve chasing a ball for hours, sometimes days and one hundred miles or more.  It is referred to a metaphor for the “game of life... You never know how hard it will be.  You never know when it will end. You can’t control it. You can only adjust." (p. 41)

• Dr. Russ Buss Key Extreme Tip: We cannot control all the events of life.  No matter how hard we try, negative events will occur and impact us.  We can control the “view of the event” more easily if we focus on how to adjust to the event so we can continue to pursue our goal(s).

2.  “Running a hundred miles wasn’t painless for the Tarahumara, either; they had to face their doubts and silence the little devil on their shoulder who kept whispering excellent reasons in their ear for quitting.” (p. 102)

• Dr. Russ Buss Key Extreme Tip: Even the most skilled “superathlete” has self doubts that come in the form of that negative inner voice that says, “Life could be a lot easier if you just gave it up.” To maintain optimism when this voice rings out, don’t push it away.  Either let the message float like a cloud into and out of awareness, “in one ear and out the other,” or thank the voice for expressing the opinion and say, “I have a better idea upon which I am going to focus.”

3. “. . . the most advanced weapon in the ultrarunner’s arsenal: instead of cringing from fatigue, you embrace it.  You refuse to let it go. You get to know it so well, you’re not afraid of it anymore.”  (p. 124).

• Dr. Russ Buss Key Extreme Tip:  Learn to embrace pessimism as friend, not an enemy, by recalling the old Simon and Garfunkle lyric: “Hello darkness, my old friend.”  When pessimism learns you are not afraid of it, the pessimism diminishes in power allowing for optimism to prevail.

4. View “exhaustion as if it’s a playful pet.”  “ . . love the Beast,” . . . “look forward to the Beast showing up, because every time he does, I handle him better.  I get him more under control.” “. . . have a friendly little tussle with the Beast and show it who’s boss?  You can’t hate the Beast and expect to beat it; the only way to truly conquer something, as every great philosopher and geneticist will tell you, is to love it.” (p. 125).

• Dr. Russ Buss Key Extreme Tip:  Accept the “pessimism beast” as a normal and recurring mindset, much like the event of failure.  Optimism thrives on the opportunity to fail as it is a major opportunity to learn and move ahead toward one’s goals.  So instead of rejecting your moments of pessimism, embrace them, stroke them, and thank them for giving you important information about key obstacles that still need to be overcome.

{Reference: McDougall, C. (2009). Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen. New York: Alfred A. Knopf}