William Henry Nurmi II has a bachelor’s degree from Michigan State University and a MBA from the University of Phoenix. Bill has a background in operations management, logistics, and sales. Bill is an avid bicyclist and is a volunteer on the board of directors at the Mission of Hope Cancer Fund. He lives in Lansing, MI and is currently seeking new employment while serving as a Post-Graduate and Career Transition Fellow of Optimism with Moment-to-Moment Enterprises.  Bill’s Fellowship project entails writing about optimism and providing advice and consultation on marketing, sales, and new program development.  Today’s post is the sixteenth in a series that Bill is writing under the title: “The Diary of a Struggling Optimist.”

Preface by Dr. Russ:  Time, acceptance, reality, back-up plans, self-definition, action, comfort zones, new opportunities and the birth of a Job Seekers Network have been on the “Struggling Optimist’s” mind this week.  Self-acceptance and taking responsibility for defining oneself may be Bill’s key insights today.  As I read through this blog entry, I am reminded of the not uncommon story of the couple desperately trying to conceive, finally accepting they cannot and will adopt, only to be surprised with conception soon after the adoption.

Time

Another week has passed by; they are flying by me at an alarming rate.  Why is it that when we are kids time goes so slow and all we want to do is grow up, and now I can’t believe how fast time goes cruising by me? As we go from our young and formative years like an Olympian in a 100 meter a track and field race, and then through our adult years like we’ve thrown out the anchor, we are always fighting against time.

Acceptance

This battle is a fight we will never win; so sit back and enjoy the ride.  I think I am finally becoming able to fully grasp the way to live this time of my life as a “road trip” per the advice of Dr. Russ.  It’s about acceptance. This seems simple enough and I am sure you are all saying, “Well, of course it is dummy”.  It is simple to say, but not as simple to live.

Reality Check

The fact is that I may not find the job that I really want, or a job that I go on to have for many years, right away.  I may have to take a job, or maybe two, to make ends meet for a while.  This is part of life, it will be fun; I am not sure where I will end up but it will be a learning experience nevertheless. 

Back Up Plan B, C, D and . . .

I am keeping in touch with local small business owners that own companies. Though they may not have my particular desired job; they could give me a job in the event I cannot find one.  This is my back up plan as far as employment is concerned. While having responsible plans gives serenity and an optimistic view, enjoying life is MY responsibility.

What Defines ME???

I’ve heard life is what happens when we are making other plans.  The point here is that I need not allow my work to define who I am and affect my happiness as much as I have in the past.  It is just part of our society to allow ourselves to be defined by our work.  When we are in social situations our first question that we ask new people we meet is “so, what do you do?"  There is nothing wrong with this question; I just cannot allow the answer to this question to determine my happiness in life.  I was told once by somebody I have a great deal of respect for, “whenever your happiness comes from an outside source like a job, you’ll lose every time”.

Action Eliminates Regrets

For anybody who’s wondering, I did make the call to the logistics company in Okemos that I sent the résumé to a week ago.  I have not heard back at all, but I do feel good that I made the call.  At least I attempted to make my resume not blend in with the masses; I cannot regret neglecting to call now. We will see what happens, but I am certainly not holding my breath at this point.

The Comfort Zone Beckoned

I have some more good activity to report back this week.  I said a few weeks back that I had the opportunity to help a friend a little in her catering business.  I was helping her with a few things and she asked if I would like to go to a political/legal fundraiser and help her out.  I thought about it, not really wanting to go, when I realized that this could be an opportunity to get out a meet more local, well connected, people that I may not come into contact at other events. DO IT Nurmi, I said to myself as I drove down the road. (Not paying attention to what I was doing).

New Connections and Family Spell Opportunities

Guess what?  I met a lobbyist that works here in town that I plan to get to know a little and have a professional relationship with.  I am back out there guys, back to the routine of networking and not being filled with angst and regret from sitting home.   In fact, I may be going to Maryland to interview for a job with the company my uncle works for; should be a fun road trip, literally this time.  I mentioned many, many weeks ago that I may not get any assistance from my uncle where this company is concerned, but I guess I was wrong and shouldn’t make assumptions like this.

Job Seekers Networking Groups

The fact that I am back out and about has great timing as well because the times and days are now decided and scheduled for the Job Seekers networking groups that are going to be held at MI Works (www.recruiteruncensored.com ).   I can’t wait for these groups to start; it will be fun to network with others who are in the same boat as I am.  We can exchange leads and be each others’ “eyes and ears” so we do not miss opportunities.  The fact that I have been an integral part of the origination of these groups has given me pleasure, as I have the ability to help others, while I also help myself.  This is really what life is all about.

BN

Today's guest blog comes to us from Autism/Behavior Coach Nichole E. Martin, M.A., founder of Essence of Behavior. Read on to see how Nichole dissects humor and optimism from an online cartoon strip featuring a child living with autism. 

On the Spectrum - An Autism Optimist 

As a guest blogger, I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed by all the possible autism related thoughts I could write about.  Faced with a clock that read 5:40am and a hot cup of coffee, I turned to a comic blog, that I came across this past January, for inspiration.  On The Spectrum is a web comic written by Scott Lynn who shares his family's humorous and sometimes frustrating experiences of raising two autistic sons, Michael and Jacob (http://otscomic.blogspot.com).

In my early morning quest for “creative blogging,” I was able to narrow my optimism focus down to four particular comics, that while not all written from an optimistic point of view, provide an honest reflection of the daily life circumstances parents face when raising a child with autism.  It is the reflection of these every day situations that provide us with the ability to think optimistically…they make us laugh and they allow us to accept circumstances that we ourselves, in the moment, cannot control.   

On The Spectrum #65: Merry Christmas, 2009! - Assumptions

Sometimes as parents we make “things” more complicated than they need to be.  Children with autism often times continue to tell us what they need because of our inability to walk away from the “parent knows best” mentality.  From the time we are children, we are taught to “use the context clues”.  But what happens when we use those “clues” to assume the needs of others?  Assumptions have a tendency to obstruct our views and in this comic, Jacob has learned to permanentize his ability to obtain a rice crispy treat if he continues to request one.  It’s funny in this comic, Jacob is the optimist, the little engine that could!

On The Spectrum #62: Driving Miss Nutsy - Attention

In this strip, it is apparent that Scott has been in this situation before and Jacob has learned that when he bangs the pots, “Dad goes crazy”.  Again, Jacob is the optimist…why you ask?  Because Jacob’s ego has been strengthened by his ability to “drive you nuts”.  Scott’s best bet after an incident like this is to accept his flaws and past mistakes of providing attention to Jacob when he is banging pots and to focus on positively reinforcing Jacob when he does something appropriate with the pots instead.  

On The Spectrum #60: The loneliest professional - Innocence

 When raising children we strive to teach a set of rote responses to help identify the meaning of particular sets of people.  These tend to be optimistic in nature. “What does a doctor do?”  - Helps you when you are sick.  “What does a police officer do?” – Keeps you safe.   “What does a dentist do?” – Cleans your teeth!  Michael has expressed his disliking for the dentist, and his innocence is demonstrated in his ability to answer his father’s question under the idea that he is talking about a dentist, NOT his Uncle Dennis.  This particular comic is funny because again, Michael is portrayed to be the optimist.  He has recognized what he can and cannot control.  When his father asks, “What are you going to say to Uncle Dennis when you see him at Christmas?”  Michael (whether he knew it or not) recognized that seeing the dentist (uncle) was not within his control, however expressing his feelings about the dentist was within his control and therefore he answered the question appropriately.

On The Spectrum #70: The Pepsi Challenge – Persistence

One thing I absolutely love about working with children with autism is their persistence.  Give these children credit as they have mastered the art of Dr. Russ’s theory regarding “If there is a way, there is a will.”  Children with autism recognize that failure in the moment will not obstruct them from doing everything they can to get what they want.  They learn to generalize our responses across an array of disciplines, even when it is not our intent to T.E.A.C.H them to do so. 

Reflection – As we go through these instances of optimism, as they relate to children with autism, we have to ask ourselves… At what point does an optimistic child learn to incorporate pessimism?  As parents, how does our pessimism play a role in our child’s development and view of the world?  How do we monitor our own pessimism when dealing with the daily emotional, physical and financial struggles of raising a child with autism?  How do we continue to T.E.A.C.H our children optimism as they grow out of the innocence phase of life and into the phase of the social reality of daily living?  How do we help them maintain optimism?

Potential Answer – We practice it ourselves.  We work on it daily.  We identify ways to learn and maintain an optimistic point of view and then strive to incorporate it in all of the aspects of our lives.  Yes it is repetitive and continuous…but it works!  These children live and breathe through us.  Their actions are  a result of our daily interactions with them.  Taking the time to T.E.A.C.H them how to be optimistic will only prove to decrease their desire to make assumptions and increase their ability to learn self-monitoring and self-regulation.  Have a fabulous day!

I want to thank Dr. Russ for allowing me to be a guest blogger today.  I hope you have enjoyed the comics.  On March 27^th from 9-11am, Dr. Russ and I will be conducting an introductory seminar on “Optimistic Parenting for Children Living with Autism”.  Register today and learn about how to T.E.A.C.H optimism to children with autism!

Click HERE register for: Optimistic Parenting for Children Living with Autism.

By Dr. Russ

Today is Just One Thing Day; the day I provide a weekly TIP for a MOMENT OF OPTIMISM. Today is also St. Patrick’s Day, a celebration of Irish Culture with feasts, festivities and the color GREEN.

TIP OF THE WEEK: Think Green for a Moment of Optimism

Green is the color of Spring, Shamrocks, and four leaf clovers.  It is a color that signifies hope, rebirth and yes, OPTIMISM.

• On this St. Patrick’s Day morning 2010, I was at a business networking meeting and learned that a 12 year member of the group and longtime friend and colleague had just lost her job because the company eliminated her department/division.  Within minutes two other individuals stood up and declared that something similar had happened to them 3 years ago.  Each explained that they used the opportunity of job loss to form their own independent small business becoming their own boss.  Each reports doing well today and happier then ever. 

When we are in the depths of despair and worrying about the future, GREEN can remind us of the above stories and of the opportunities that abound when life takes such an expected “downturn.”

Five ways GREEN can help fuel the UPTURN after the DOWNTURN

1.    Optimists are OPPORTUNITY SEEKERS. USE Green to symbolize the opportunity for new growth, personal development and re-birth. 

• TRY this practical application:  Get a crisp dollar bill and a black, thin tipped, magic marker and write BOLDLY across the “greenback” one or two new opportunities you will begin to explore in the next two weeks; frame it and hang it in a prominent place.  When that OPPORTUNITY has been explored fully, take the dollar bill out and put it in your wallet; it is still worth a dollar.  Take out another dollar bill and repeat the process for another OPPORTUNITY.

2.    Optimists focus on PROCESS GOALS which they control through EFFORT.  USE the Chicago River which is dyed GREEN on St. Patrick’s Day to symbolize the PROCESS of a river FLOWING.  

• TRY this practical application.  Get a green marker or crayon and a sheet of white paper.  Draw the outline of the river laterally across the page with the green marker.  Now, still using the green marker, fill in the river with key words or phrases that describe ten PROCESS GOALS that you are currently working on.

3.    Optimists take on TOUGH CHALLENGES.  USE Green to symbolize the tough challenge of maintaining an eco-friendly earth.  We are now able to search for “green products” and “green certified” individuals, professionals and businesses, meaning they engage in eco-friendly practices. 

• TRY this practical application.  First think of “tough challenges” that you have taken on in the past that have involved the color green.  For example, running in a cross country race across a green field, keeping your garden free of weeds, or taking the extra time to recycle “green glass” bottles.  Now take a paper wrapper or cardboard container from an eco-friendly product and make a list of these past “tough challenges.”

4.    Optimists actively us their IMAGINATIONS.   Use a green shamrock or four leaf clover to symbolize the POWER of DREAMS to guide us to NEW levels of BEING. 

• TRY this practical application.  Purchase a Shamrock or Four Leaf Clover replica or cut a picture of one out of a magazine.  Take out a three by five card or piece of note paper and write down one to three “big dreams” you have about some aspect of your personal or professional future.  Place the list on your desk or dresser and put the Shamrock or Four Leaf Clover on it to hold the list in place.

5.    Optimists MAKE IT HAPPEN.  USE some green object or possession past or present that symbolizes for you the YES I CAN/MAKE IT HAPPEN SPIRIT. 

• TRY this practical application. Identify some green objects that serve as such symbols for you and make a list of the specific aspects of that object that imbue that positive spirit in you.  For me, the green objects that most remind me of the “can-do-spirit” are my very first “new” car and my current car.  My very first new car was a 1968, forest green, Plymouth Roadrunner with a 383 Hemi engine. It had a five speed standard transmission (known as a “stick” shift).  The aspects of that car that remind me of CAN-DO: a) I was in control of when to shift gears, and 2) I could “lay rubber” for a quarter mile with a quick “pop” of the clutch and the accelerator pressed all the way to the floor.  My current car is much tamer, a forest green, Chevrolet Suburban.  While an automatic, it has 3 types of “four wheel drive” along with a gas saving rear wheel drive.  I can take this car more places, fill it with more stuff, and tow more weight behind than any other automobile on the road.  I can make just about anything happen!!!

 


By Dr. Russ,

The Chronic Complainer

Are you tired of being around employees and coworkers who are chronic complainers?  Nothing is ever right or good enough for them.  These individuals are not offering constructive criticism, but rather VENT about what they don’t like while making it clear they feel hopeless and helpless about there “negative lot.”  They appear and act unhappy.

After awhile we can get quite tired of listening to such a person on a daily basis.  Our level of moment-to-moment optimism gets diminished upon the mere citing of them in the hallway, meeting or lunch room.

What to Do?

I am frequently asked what to do about such individuals?  Here are eight strategies you might try to eliminate or diminish their chronic negativity.  To maintain your own optimism treat each strategy as a “process” not “outcome” goal.  There are no guarantees any strategy will work with any particular individual, but at least we can try!!!!!

Eight Optimism Strategies for the Negative Nay Saying Employee or Coworker

{To generate these eight strategies I have taken the word COMPLAIN and used each letter to generate a specific optimism strategy}

C - CLARIFICATION – While attending to the negative epistles with an air of detachment, take a moment to rephrase the complaint or concern in your own words, i.e., attempt to paraphrase the concern by saying: “OK, I hear you saying that you are upset about . . .”  Sometimes realizing the complaint has been heard quiets them down.

O - OPENNESS – Empathize by saying something like: “Whew! That is tough problem you have there.”  “I can’t really think of anything more challenging.”  “The closest I’ve ever come to experiencing that is . . . and your situation seems much more difficult.”

M – MISSION – Ask how addressing the negative will improve the company image and mission or detract from it.

P - POSITIVITY – Play the Dr Russ Buss Glad About That Game.  Ask: a) Can you think of something worse happening or that could have happened? b) How can we turn that negative into a positive? Or c) What is the “Golden Opportunity” in that scenario.

L – LOOKING ELSWHERE – The old adage the “misery loves company” is only partially true.  In the early 1970’s social psychologists discovered a deeper truth about ‘misery:’ “misery only likes miserable company.”  What if you find your “miserable” employee trying to recruit other coworkers to the misery bandwagon?  Remember it only takes one bad apple in the barrel to. . .  According to Jay Goltz, owner of five businesses in the Chicago area with really happy employees, it may be necessary to talk to the unhappy employees (one on one) and recommend they go elsewhere as this company is obviously not a good “match” for them.

A – ACCEPTANCE – Reduce your frustration by accepting that you cannot control how they VIEW the world.  Say to yourself, “they are entitled to their opinion just like those who write in the OP ED section of the newspaper.”  Then walk away.

I - INNOVATION – Try to use the complaint as a springboard to new and creative ideas.  Remember problems go in search of solutions, most of the time.

N - NON-REACTIVITY – The more you are able to maintain a calm, quiet, and non-reactive demeanor the more you shut off the possibility that the nay-sayer is getting a “kick out of the emotional reactions people have to the negativity.”  Hence, without the reward of such attention the nay-saying may decrease.

 By Dr. Russ

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day when I issue TIPS to "BUSSTERIZE" any pessimism standing in the way of maximizing your optimism in the week ahead.  Today’s Busster's are drawn from the optimistic opportunity to make your predictions about which teams will win in the NCAA 2010 Men’s Basketball Tournament.

Yesterday, the NCAA tournament brackets were announced for a field of 65 teams that will compete for a National Title over the next 3 weeks. Every newspaper in America has a full page insert listing the brackets. 

We are all invited to make our predictions about which teams will win in each round.  We have the opportunity to enter an office or family pool.

Ten NCAA Basketball Bracket Filler Bussters

1.    No need to worry, “Just forget about perfection.”  You have a one in 9 quadrillion chance of completing the bracket perfectly (i.e., picking the winner of every game).  You have a better chance of picking the winner of every U.S.  Presidential race through 2256.
2.    Really want to win? Then be very strategic and always pick the lower seed which will make you right 87% to 90% of the time. 
3.    "What fun is picking the lower seed," you ask?  It probably isn’t fun unless you simply want to win the office pool.  If you want to have fun, you will have to pick a few upsets and TAKE A RISK.  You can at least have some fun in thinking you are smarter than the experts.
4.    Tune out the Pundits and the Nay-sayers who accuse the NCAA selection committee of making mistakes in rankings and bracket placements.  These sportscasters are on the outside looking in.  I wonder how their attitude would change if they were on the inside looking out.
5.    Underdogs do win. A “perfect” seeding would mean that the Final Four would be composed of all four number one seeds which has occurred only once in tournament history, March 30, 2008.
6.    Jim Valvano’s “Cardiac Kids” from North Carolina State came from behind to beat Houston to win the NCAA championship game in 1983; one of the great Cinderella stories in tournament history.  At the end, Valvano ran all over the court looking for someone to hug.  For optimistic inspiration check out this two and a half minute video summary of the game. 
7.    Turn to another NCAA feel good story.  Al McGuire announced his retirement from college basketball coaching during the 1977 season.  His Marquette team, clear underdogs in the NCAA tournament, rewarded their coach who had come so close so often with his only NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Championship.
8.    Have some fun, be a “homer” and pick your favorite team.  As you fill out your bracket, imagine and visualize the wins, better yet a few upsets, all the way to winning the championship.  Just remember not to wager a lot of money.
9.    FUN is the operative word as you get a chance to interact with friends, family and coworkers around a three week event that serves as a KEY distraction from everyday problems of life.
10.    You can of course eliminate all worry from your “bracketology” exercise by filling out multiple bracket entries, one by the seeding, one for the “homer,” one by your seven year old, one by your intuition,  and one by coin flips.


By Dr. Russ, 

Saving the Light

I don’t know about you, but “jumping ahead” an hour in time for "day light savings" really messes with my optimism-pessimism continuum.   I preach about “staying in the moment.”  How the heck can I do that when I’m forced to jump an hour ahead at 2 am on March 14,  2010?  Then I think to myself: Is "saving the light" like "saving optimism?" hmm???

I am feeling disoriented and discombobulated having just skipped over many moments like a musical recording that jumps forward over a scratch and a patch of the song is lost to my ears.  It as if someone pressed “fast forward” through the best part of the movie leaving me to wonder how we got to the end.

Time Travel

Earlier this week I wrote: Stay in the moment because if you are not, you are in the past or the future and time travel has not yet been perfected.

This Dr. Russ Buss "week in review" is written from the perspective of time travel or how to stay in the moment while traveling through time.  Jumping ahead an hour feels like time travel to me; something has been missed or left behind.  I am definitely having some moments of difficulty adapting to this time change over which I have no control.  Or, do I?

Whining and Complaining

First I am going to wallow in a few moments of pessimism and air my complaints.  Yes, I too need a few moments to whine; even while knowing I’m supposed to “sweat-it-out!”

• Being on the western edge of a time zone, I get tired of darkness until 8am all winter.  I was just beginning to enjoy light at 6:30 to 7:00 am.  Now I will have to wait it out another month or so.
• I just don’t like that lack of control!!!
• On Sunday, I like to kick back and relax without the time pressure cares of the work week.  Now, I’m feeling pressured all day to make up for that lost hour.
• I keep thinking I have to choose between an hour of productivity and an hour of sleep.
• What is the purpose of Day Light Savings anyway?  What is the supposed benefit?

Ok. Whining time is over.  Let’s turn to some adaptation strategies.

Ten Tips for Maintaining Optimism during the Time Travel of Day Light Savings

1.    I could do what a colleague of mine does – she never admits to a change and keeps the clock in her office set to the same time all year.
2.    I could delay the time change like Scheherazade stayed her death sentence for 1001 nights with her clever story telling.  What is the loss of an hour compared to the threat of death from a disgruntled King?  Despite that hour of lost sleep I need to:  "stir in myself  the courage to get up and try one more time . . .”
3.    I must guard against a “set-forward” becoming a “setback.”  Like the employees left inside the organization with a job, looking out after downsizing, wondering about their future, I need to stop looking back for the lost hour and look forward to the new possibilities for a new perspective on time travel.
4.    Maybe I need to take control of the situation like the American Indians of New Mexico:  “The Navajo make the switch; the Hopi, surrounded by the Navajo, do not.”
5.    Perhaps I need to view the “jump forward” as a new opportunity for risk taking akin to my recommendations for the employee redevelopment planning after downsizing.
6.    A new hour could be symbolic of the dramatic first in the movie industries Oscar ceremonies that gave a female who directed a war film the first ever Oscar for Directing.
7.    I could view the hour as a symbol of  trying something new, breaking set and being seen in a new way as Mo’Nique did in her portrayal of a dark reprehensible welfare mother in “Precious.”
8.    I can remind myself that I already took a “jump ahead in time” earlier this week on the hopeful news that the “Tasmanian Devil just might survive after all.”
9.    I could take the view from the outer space viewpoint of Astronauts on the International space station who: “find it tough to think about time zones when latitude varies moment-by-moment as the sunrise and sunset is seen about every 45 minutes.”
10.    I think what I am going to do is turn the lights out at 9 pm tonight and set the clock ahead to 10 pm.  Now, I have control back over MY TIME; my OPTIMISM IS SAVED!!!!


Preface by Dr. Russ:  From an emotional standpoint, Bill has had a rough couple of weeks.  A funeral for a young person is a ‘TOUGH GO.”  Add in to that the worry of unemployment.  It is difficult, if not impossible, to focus on the future that was lost; dreams unrealized. It is simultaneously difficult to focus on a job search.  Once again, Bill is able to capture the ups and downs of his inner voice as he struggles with these issues.

When someone passes-on around the age of “life expectancy,” it is much easier to look back on AND CELEBRATE a LIFE WELL LIVED.  The “grief process” for a loved one takes at least a year and sometimes longer.  So Bill is right, it will take time for “emotionally healing.”  And, trying to “shortcut” the grief process is not recommended. 

After a week or two, getting back into “day-to-day” routines is essential, but the memories of “good and bad” times will intrude frequently.  Such memory intrusions are to be expected and will decrease in frequency, intensity and duration as time goes on.   Thus, Bill’s self-reported sluggishness to follow-up on a job interview is to be expected, but he does need to give himself a little push, as he duly notes.

The Diary of a Struggling Optimist: Entry Fifteen 

We Should Get Together More Often

Well; life is getting back to “normal” for me.  It is tough after the death of a loved one.  I really enjoyed seeing much of my mother’s family that came down from Newfoundland Canada.  I have not seen many of them for months, even years.  It is too bad that with today’s fast-paced world it takes something like a death to bring family back together.  Afterwards everybody always says “we should get together more often,” and then we never do. 

Good Times, Bad Times

I am struggling a little with getting my head back in the job search game.  I have suffered from depression at different times in my life, though I have been fortunate that it has, for the most part, been behind me.  I have been in great spirits for some number of years now, although the death of my cousin has me thinking back to memories of times gone by; times that include those depressive years. 

I was sitting there before the funeral services began, with my head in my hands, when I looked up at old pictures that were carefully and chronologically pasted to large bulletin boards. There were many snapshots of fun times and I was remembering what was going on in our lives at those times. There are memories of my cousin and me acting foolish and playing in the pool, or just sitting around a camp fire on your average summer evening when we were carefree and just kids.

When I think back to all these good times, the bad times come to mind as well.  There was a picture of my grandmother holding my cousin as a baby just two short months before her death; this picture “did me in” when I looked at it.  These two important people are now both gone forever.  My grandmother died back in 1989, so her death does not always cross my mind, but it sure has this week.

This stroll down memory lane, so to speak, has been both good and bad.  It has brought up all kinds of feelings I have essentially forgotten about, feelings that don’t always feel so good to feel.  There will be great times in life, and inevitably bad as well.  I just have to remember that this too will pass. 

Back to the Job Search

A few weeks ago I mentioned that I needed to get away from all the online postings a little and focus more on networking, like I was towards the end of 2009 and January of this year.  I have not done this.  I have been so out of touch with reality here for a while that I have not done what I said was going to do.  This is not to say that I need to not apply for jobs online, it’s just that I need to network more, that’s all.  I will get back to this in the coming week. 

New Job Seekers Groups

I have been notified that the Job Seeker groups that have been formed in conjunction with Michigan Works are going to be launching within a matter of weeks! I am excited and grateful that I have the opportunity to participate in this program.  It should be fun and helpful to many local professionals, including myself. 

I read today that the greater Lansing area has upwards of 16,000 individuals that are seeking work. This is enough to FILL the Breslin Center on the MSU campus.  This is a huge amount of people and I am sure that some of them could be helpful to others in the group while they themselves are helped as well. 

No Word for Me Yet

No word yet about the Logistics company here in Okemos that I sent a resume to.  I will be sure to keep everybody posted as more developments come in.  I have not yet contacted them to secure an interview.  I better do this tomorrow to make sure that I don’t wait until it is too late. This job would be a fun opportunity for me so I better not allow something as lazy as not following up on an interview to stand in the way of what could be my next career move.

BN

By Dr. Russ

How can parents and caretakers learn to teach children with autism from a positive behavioral and attitudinal perspective?  Will teaching children with autism based on the foundation of the Dr. Russ Buss “Core Principles of Optimism” result in a more positive behavior profile for the child and experience for the adult?

The above questions are empirical, i.e., can be tested with a controlled research study.  However, before embarking upon such research, let’s explore what is meant by the phrase -  “positive attitudinal and behavioral perspective."

While such a VIEW has some overlap with “Positive Parenting Techniques,” this VIEW is predominantly defined as:

1. Accepting that the child has autism and therefore is an incredible, but not impossible, challenge to parent effectively.
2. Once the CHALLENGE has been ACCEPTED, we have the choice to do “whatever it takes” to learn and use the most effective, research based strategies for parenting children living with autism.  “Positive Parenting Techniques" may be included in the autism parenting "toolbox,” but there are many more “tools” to learn about and use.

Acceptance does not mean “accept your lot,” as in the quote below:

• "When you are encouraged to accept your lot, even to see it as a gift, it can make you think you don't have the right to be mad--but you do. No one deserves to have these disorders, and no one deserves to have their lives turned upside down by caring for someone else who does. On one level, you do have to accept the situation. On another, you cannot, and must not if you are to have the energy and determination to help your child."

“Accepting one’s lot” smacks of “learned helplessness,” e.g., "I am stuck with this uncontrollable, unpredictable child who has no hope of a future.”

The Dr. Russ Buss view of “acceptance” is as follows: 

• Once Michael J. Fox accepted that he had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, he realized he then had at least 100 choices he could make to improve and "make better his lot.” 
• This type of “acceptance” focuses us on “learned optimism” and away from “learned helplessness;” once the diagnosis is accepted as a “problem” then solutions can be sought in the present and future.

There is no doubt that parents raising children diagnosed with autism face extreme day-to-day challenges as they struggle to help children maintain emotional stability, communicate effectively, and behave in a non-disruptive manner.

There is no doubt that it is easy to get caught up in a negative and pessimistic view of parenting characterized by these typical “real life comments” made by parents challenged with raising an autistic child:

• Can’t take a day off – Always has to have my attention – Never spoken a single word – Everything is centered around autism – Never be or have a normal life – Always worried child will get hurt or injured – Feel judged by society – School does not have right program – Joy of having a baby is out of the question – Stress on marriage and relationships – Impossible financial and medical costs – Dreams denied.

The Dr. Russ Buss view of optimism is not about “Don’t worry, be happy . .  .,” but is about accepting and learning to enjoy and revel in taking on one of the toughest situations life has to offer.  Raising a child diagnosed with autism in 2010 has to be among the top five most challenging life circumstances.

In 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (Future Horizens, Inc., 2004), Ellen Notbohm and Veronica Zysk use the metaphor of "1001 Arabian Nights" and the tale of Scheherazade to help us see the “joy” of this challenge.  The story goes like this: 

• A king angered by his wife’s infidelity orders her death and then orders a new wife to come to him each night and then  promptly has her killed.  When Scheherazade appears before the king, she begins to tell him a tall tale, ending in a “cliff-hanger.”  The king decides not to kill her so he can hear the rest of the story the next night, and the next night, and for 1001 nights at which point the king is no longer interested in the death of this wife.

Here is how Notbolm and Zysk relate this story to raising a child with autism:

• "Scheherazade stayed alive because each day ended with her creating in the king an inquisitiveness, a wanting to know what events, what insights, what possibilities the next day held.  Autism is such an experience if you will let it be so.  Each day you stay alive is another day understanding it, integrating its presence . . . Use that courage to stir in yourself the courage to get up and try one more time, the stamina to forge on when it is appropriate and the wisdom to know when to walk away and fight another day, the perspective to move on to plan B . . . "

Research has informed us that three of the core deficits/delays in autism, across its entire spectrum, are in the areas of  “reciprocal communication,” “sensory integration,” and “expressive and receptive language” skills.  Research has also led to very effective therapeutic interventions in each of these areas which, if aggressively pursued after an early diagnosis is sought, can result in dramatic improvements in day to day functioning of many of these children.

While some say, “If there is a will there is a way,” I say and have said before, “If there is a way there is a will.”  So by starting with teaching strategies drawn from the above three areas we may be able to stay longer with Plan A and build confidence that we can quickly find a viable Plan B.

Click HERE register for: Optimistic Parenting for Children Living with Autism.

By Dr. Russ

Wednesday is Just One Thing Day, when I answer the oft asked question: "Please, please Dr. Russ can you give me one more moment of optimism this week?" Hence, the “Tip of the Week” is born.

Optimism Tip of the Week:  The Tasmanian Devil just might survive after all!

Great news out of Australia today.  Scientists have found a colony of Tasmanian Devils (made loveable by the Looney Tunes cartoon character TAZ),  that appear to have genetic immunity to the virulent and contagious facial cancer.  Known as Devil Facial Tumor Disease, it is threatening the Devils with extinction.

Other than giving us hope for the species survival and hearing a “feel good story,” what does this discovery have to do with Optimism?

• First, it is a positive and hopeful story.
• Second, while the genetic immunity might be “God or Nature Given,” the discovery came about through the hard work of scientists demonstrating, once again,  that optimists take on tough challenges and work hard to overcome difficulties.
• Third, with this knowledge of “nature's gift” the scientists might be able to find a cure to help those without the genetic gift.
• Fourth, it is another story that inspires us to use OPTIMISM TO FIGHT BACK TO CANCER.

Tonight, I will be attending a local “Relay for Life” planning meeting.  Throughout the spring and around the country, thousands of communities will be hosting a 24 hour Relay for Life event sponsored by the American Cancer Society.

To inspire the participants during the 24 hour period, a number of mini-ceremonies are held to celebrate “survival.” One such ceremony centers around birthdays as each year survived MEANS ANOTHER birthday celebration.

A somewhat new ceremony to the Relay is the "Fight Back Ceremony" where the concept of fighting back with positive attitude and behavior is REINFORCED. 

I have been asked to generate brief "Optimistic Fight Back Messages” that can inspire cancer survivors and caretakers to maintain the motivation for the tough cancer battle.

I would love your help in making-up original inspirational messages and finding key quotes that carry an important “fight-back” message.  Here are twenty-five that I have thought of to get the ball rolling.  I’d like to come up with a hundred or more.  If you WOULD LIKE TO HELP ME AND are so inspired, go to the comments section and submit one, two or ten messages or more. I will be glad to credit your authorship.

25 Optimistic Fight Back Messages

1.    Be proud! Wear your make up!
2.    Name your wig Maude or Harold or anything funny.
3.    Stay in the moment because if you are not, you are in the past or the future and time travel has not yet been perfected.
4.    Breath In; Breath Out ~ Ever so SLOWLY.
5.    Treat every MOMENT OF LIFE as a GIFT.
6.    Have Pizza and Ice Cream for lunch at least once.
7.    Keep in mind ~ Every set back is an opportunity to move further ahead.
8.    Commit to a CAUSE larger than yourself.
9.    Make every MOMENT COUNT more than it is worth.
10.  It’s OK to say Cancer “Sucks.”
11.  Build an e-mail support group with friends and family; post updates regularly.
12.  One moment of life lived positively is cherished for an eternity.
13.  One moment of life lived negatively can be corrected and made into a positive for eternity.
14.  When life is “Really Sucking,” make a list of all the things that could be worse.
15.  Accept what part of Cancer you CANNOT CONTROL; then focus on what part of Cancer you can CONTROL.
16.  Take a few moments daily to imagine you are living Cancer Free.
17.  Exercise daily.
18.  Lose weight, but more importantly lose body fat.
19.  Post inspiring optimism quotes on your refrigerator.
20.  You CANNOT CONTROL getting CANCER, but you CAN CONTROL getting TREATMENT.
21.  It is OK for the INNER VOICE to say, “Woe is me,” but only for a MOMENT or TWO.
22.  Can we use the TASMANIAN DEVIL AS A SYMBOL FOR FIGHTING BACK TO CANCER with OPTIMISM?
23.  Like the Tasmanian Devil, I can’t control having the “cancer gene,” but I can control my “fight back attitude.”
24.  Martin Luther King reminds us that, “The stars shine brightest in the darkest hour.”
25.  In the words of Jim Valvano, “Never Give-In, Never Give-In, Never Give in to Cancer”

Click here to find a "Relay for Life" in your community.

Want some answers about cancer: Call 1-800-ACS-2345

USE THE COMMENT SECTION TO SEND IN YOUR "FIGHT BACK WITH OPTIMISIM" MESSAGE.

By Dr. Russ, 

Good news on the job hunting frontlines!  According to the USA Today, March 9, 2010, Money Section B: “. . . the job market will soon be generating new, money-paying jobs to unemployed Americans.”   While hope and optimism may be on the rise for the job seekers, pessimism may be rampant among the job holders left behind after the downsizing; employees wondering who is next to get axed or what will happen to the company they thought they knew and trusted.

On the Outside Looking In

I have written extensively about those who have been laid off, and our “Struggling Optimist” has given a weekly update on the ups and downs of his job search.  We have been concerned about these unemployed ranks that are on the outside looking in; wishing they had their old jobs back, a new promising one, or in some cases, just any job. 

On the Inside Looking Out

Today, I am writing about the FORGOTTEN ONE’S, still inside The Company, looking out. These employees are happy that they still have a job, but wonder about their own job security. Where do they “fit in” in a re-structured organization? Many have doubts about the mission the company, and are suffering grief and loss over loss of some friends and colleagues no longer with The Company.

Remaining on the inside may actually seem like some Alfred Hitchcock, cruel and twisted “mystery ending,” or “Twilight Zone” episode: at first celebrating a job only to find out it’s not the same job or organization.

Employee Morale Takes a Hit

After the layoff, the company just doesn’t seem or feel the same.  The co-worker down the hall with the great jokes is no longer schmoozing with you and others at the coffee-pot, break or lunch room. There is no replacement for the twenty year veteran who mentored the one, five and ten year employees. Despite how well or poorly the downsizing was handled, the morale issues and feelings are the same, the only difference being the intensity of negative worrisome and pessimistic feelings.

Let’s be clear - the company did downsize so it could re-build, re-direct and improve productivity.  The rebuilding that needs to be done is not the “total makeover” required after an earthquake, hurricane, or tornado and not as simple as having a few interrupted work days like those caused by the recent record snow storms that hit the east coast in February 2010.

Rebirth is Possible and Necessary for the Unemployed, Left Behind Employed, and the Organization

In my opinion, the best disaster metaphor for this recession is a FOREST FIRE.  There is a major clearing out of underbrush and overgrown vegetation and a blackened scorched earth left behind. Nevertheless, solid and stable trees remain to form the foundation for new growth and development. 

Individuals who have been laid off have a chance to start anew, create “start-ups,” explore new career paths and otherwise reinvent themselves. Organizations have the same opportunity, perhaps on a somewhat grander scale, to rebuild a stronger and more productive workforce instilled with the spirit of optimism and rebirth; a chance, also, to begin again.

Ten Strategies for Improving Employee Morale

In my conversations with executives and HR Directors, I have been asked how the Dr. Russ Buss “Principles of Optimism” could be used to shape this employee morale renewal and redevelopment process.  Below are ten key ideas to GUIDE the internal organization rebuilding process based on the “Core Principles of Optimism.”

1.    Recognize the unique individuality of every employee left behind.  Each has a different set of needs and sensitivities, and will want to learn to understand the strengths and weaknesses of their own coping mechanisms and how to improve ones that are less effective.
2.    Each person needs to identify and be able to describe his or her own sense of loss and source of future uncertainty within and about The Company.
3.    While The Company should take “responsibility” for the downsizing (“Yes, we did it”), The Company has to also “externalize” and “temporalize” the failure (at least to some extent) by making such pronouncements as:   a) “We couldn’t survive in the current economy without some major cuts”(externalize), and b) the setback is temporary. After some re-structuring which we can control even in the face of a slowly recovering economic climate, we expect to rebuild and be a stronger company.  Emphasize the following: “We can, with your help, overcome the challenges and difficulties ahead (temporalize).”
4.    The company has to express empathy for the loss with statements like: “We know current and former employees are hurting, that losing a job is a major blow to self esteem, and fearing such a loss is terribly anxiety provoking.”  No need to give additional rationale or explanation.  A simple expression of empathy is enough.
5.    The Company, through renewed employee development efforts, can refocus and retrain the employees in the “General Optimistic Perspective” with a focus on overcoming setbacks, taking on new and exciting long term survival strategies, and helping the employees leave the comfort of their pessimism behind (i.e., doing the same as we have done is not going to work).
6.    The Company should include in its employee redevelopment plan: a) training that focuses on new opportunities; how to find them and build on them; and b) a focus on risk taking; including the need for it and how to identify reasonable and potentially profitable risks.
7.    The Company should espouse a desire to reward and promote “opportunity seekers” who personalize, generalize and permanitize the JOINT opportunity for their own and The Company’s growth and development.
8.    The re-development curriculum should include training on how to adopt the optimistic view of success and failure.  “Success is permanent and can be built upon with a ‘keep-on makin’it  happen attitude;’ while failure is temporary and can be changed or improved upon.”
9.    Learning the strategy of optimistic goal setting is essential for building self-efficacy beliefs that if one tries one can.  However, such a belief can only be realized by having a combination of PROCESS and OUTCOME goals along multi-faceted dimensions of the task.
10.     Finally, the employee redevelopment plan needs to emphasize teachability of the Dr. Russ Buss VIEW of optimism and engage employee collaboration in rebuilding a permanent foundation for a culture of organizational optimism.